Be the Woman to your Man

My purpose for writing this blog is to open up my world of singles that live together and have children together making it work. All relationships require work. Even the relationships and bonds we form with our children. I have been with my significant other for 11 years…yes, 11 years. I know a lot of folks frown upon or have judgements of individuals being in relationships for that long and not taking the big plunge. But for me these years and time have been a growth process for me and my honey. Personally being raised by a Single Mother gave me a disadvantage early in my relationship and in previous relationships. Of course being raised by a single woman is nothing bad,but having years of observing my mother take charge and be both man and woman in our household did not teach me how to be a woman in my relationships. I was taught to lead, take care of business, to run a household, to make decisions and all of this without input. So being taught that for 21 years of my life it was hard to take a back seat when a man stepped up. But I learned and Thank God for that. I didn’t change over night because I had grown accustomed to being in charge of me, my decisions and my life. But when you decide to include someone else in that plan, you also have to make a decision to change. Not only did this adjustment affect how we dealt with each other but with our children. I’m pretty sure ALL mothers feel ” if I don’t handle it, it won’t be handled right”. But what I’ve learned is even if it’s not how you want it done or when you want it done, you having that help is what matters. Step back, breathe and let your man do his part. Our single mothers teach us to be strong but they should also teach us that stepping back is not a weakness.

Do you wear the pants or do you let your man? Does this cause tension in your relationship? Have u learned to step back?

“Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved” Unknown

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Categories: Couples Session | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “Be the Woman to your Man

  1. Alecia_HBOP

    So proud of your growth. Wonderful article and look forward to the future one. Yes many Black women have had to take charge and there is a whole history behind that. But as you have learned & I have learned all relationships are about balancing self and not about either one’s ego or being right.. Keep up the great work & growth…Love Mom

  2. jacksoutsidethebox

    Yes I agree. It’s important to let a man be a man and for us as women to be the woman in a relationship. And hearing it from someone IN a relationship is important too. Can’t wait to read more. Love this!

  3. Erica

    Good stuff, Jay. It’s hard to take a back seat when we’ve seen such strong women in our lives…but if you just take the time to ask them, they’ll always tell you that two parents are better than one, and that feeling and being treated like a TRUE woman is one of the best feelings in the world. Looking forward to the next one!

  4. Concrete Rose

    how can u be the woman to ur man when a man isn’t being a man to his woman, Given 11 yrs. you build growth and stability. The man should have demanded to make you his wife by now and earn your gift of letting him be your Man well the Man. The man is the Head and the woman is the kneck. Why not have God’s blessing in the relationship to hold you two strong everyday….Seems like with years already gone by you two already know each other and have already explored into life together. The married life would seem like nothing. Isn’t it every woman desire and fantasy to be a wife and to get married someday. Unless she is unsure of the person.? If either of u don’t stress the issue then you two may never know what real married life is. You only pretend the life you do. Marriage is holy and a relationship doesn’t work 100% with the partners. Half of it is your duty to God and put him first asking permission to unite and then pray on issues. I believe life problems and situations does not help without permission from God. Also worship together Its the gift of giving to one another. I know you mentioned your giving him his rights being the man but somewhere down the line it should’ve been there in the beginning when u first laid eyes on him and chosen that man. If there been problems to have put u to say after so many years your now letting him be the man,To me it wont last because like you said it doesnt happen over night. U will eventually brk and maybe have an outburst.
    U dont learn to let your man be the man because from the start your man is the man. We have voices and we need to be herd so that they understand our point. Me personally I’ve learned to not let the man be a man unless its deserved. A woman must be a woman first to herself then to her man, She must love him and Let him take the role if she is satisfied, stand in her place
    loving herself more, Because by then she will see the man she has by herside……as for a woman always show strength, we must be herd, we must be happy, we must be free, from there U make the relationship work.

  5. ConcreteRose I understand your views whole heartedly.You’ve read one post and already started judgement, but regardless my journey has been different than your perception. I’ve been around married couples that can’t stand each other or don’t even understand the people they are with or themselves and I chose to be different. I had to grow up myself first and that’s what this journey is about. I appreciate your feedback and Thank you for stopping by.

    • Concrete Rose

      Your Welcome, I truly Love and appreciate the post. It shows strength in you. I commend you,must say You have and shown gutts coming forward with your story. To tell your story and address other woman who have simalarity views on relationship. May you have support and guidance to touch the lives of many or all woman. Me personally I appreciate hearing the truth to any story and for a woman to make anything work she definately has to takes steps to be a woman to her man.

  6. Congrats sister! Thanks for being willing to share your journey with others 😉

  7. Neela

    Congrats, Twin!!! A blog so befitting of my relationship. This, “But what I’ve learned is even if it’s not how you want it done or when you want it done, you having that help is what matters.”, is nothing but the truth. Thank you!

  8. Amina

    Love this blog. Definitely speaks to being able to have a partnership not one being dominant over the other. Having an active father in the picture is a plus and allowing him to support helps both you and him as well as the family:-)

  9. newfollower615

    Great post again. I don’t think women have the power to ‘let’ a man be a man or ‘let’ a man lead the household. Women can’t give it or take it away. If the can lead; he will lead. If he can’t; we will. Not necessarily saying that all women have the power to lead either; but as history has shown, women have found the way when there was no way.

    Times have changed. When we asked our men to share their feelings, we also opened the door to share the load. His strength may not be in leadership; but celebrate and embrace where his strength does lie.

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