Last week I met our son’s new 4th grade teacher. Me being the involved parent that I am, I went in the school to speak with her as school let out.
Sorry, Yes! Rewind for the past 3 weeks my son has been back in school for mandatory summer school. It is mandatory for the students and teachers to become acquainted with their new students/ teacher for the upcoming year. Now since Pre-k J has been an honor roll student. And even took on a mentoring role in the class room to help other kids read more proficient. Regardless I was excited to introduce myself to his new teacher and see where we as parents could help out. All I know is I walked away thinking to myself that it is time for mommy and daddy to buckle down. This woman was not personable at all, she raised her voice at a few children before she started conversing with me. Then everything that came out of her mouth was negative. “J is starting to daydream in class, his grades are dropping because he does not show all of his work in math, I don’t know yet but he will be okay.” As I fake smile and walk off, I really wanted to two piece that ass. But I took my baby and left. Immediately I talked with him about his values and expectations. I realized this was going to be the year he is challenged.
Every child goes through it. That one teacher that seems to be a thorn in your side, the one that doesn’t believe in praise but tearing you down, the one that never cares about what goes on with each individual child as long as it doesn’t interfere with the class, militant, and honestly not too kid friendly. Which to me all and all is fine. But listen here, that tired ass attitude will not be my child’s downfall.
When his father arrived home Friday after the last day of summer school, we all sat down and talked. We asked J about the things his teacher brought up at the school. Yes, he was day dreaming because he finished his work before other classmates so by the time everyone finished he did not hear the teacher tell them to line up. Then he often shows his work in math because they sent home class work examples. The issue is his teacher has implemented a new way to show your math which he had to get accustom to. Then the comment about him being okay, Boo and Bye. My son will be more than okay because he understands hard work, he’s an A student and all test scores are above grade level. But most of all he is confident in himself and his work.
I created summer packets for both of my kids after they completed the packets sent home from school. I go over every inch of homework and even make sure he understands why something is wrong and what needs to be corrected. Soo if this woman thinks she will tear down my baby’s confidence she got another thing coming.
J is focused and ready for any challenge she throws his way and so are we.
Let’s get ready to Rock the 4th grade. “CHALLENGE” ( in my Bill Cosby voice)
The other night we were watching FOX news and they were discussing the Grammy awards. I bust out laughing because the topic was Adele and Spanx. For those of you who do not know what Spanx are, let me explain. Spanx is a popular brand of body slimming undergarments. It helps to hide and suck in almost everything you cannot without holding your breath. Lol Apparently Adele wore 4 pairs of Spanx that night. WTF! My honey looked over at me cracking up because I’ve had my run ins with Spanx. Knowing she had on 4 makes me shiver. I, like most women loved me some Spanx. But not too long ago me and Spanx had a bit of an altercation. Seriously…..the night our little altercation happened there was nothing funny about it and you may beg to differ. But now when this story comes up I can’t help but to laugh.
One night a few of my girlfriends decide to go see a high school friend’s band. Now it had been about 4 months since I had a night out with the girls. So naturally we were drinking as soon as we step in the club. I mean Patron shots from jump, which led to Patron Margaritas then to about 3 other cups of something I couldn’t name. Needless to say the whole night I was good, really good until I had to go to the bathroom. I totally forgot I had on Spanx they came down nice and smooth, but………they wouldn’t come back up. Now it really wasn’t that they Couldn’t come back up. I was soo drunk that it took so much out of me to try. I was getting hot and sweating laughing at my damn self in that tiny stall. But I know my girls were like Jaye is taking way too long. So I left the Spanx at the halfway mark across my ass and hurry pulling my pants up. I was so drunk that when i got home i passed out with my Spanx still on. Haven’t put one on since that night. Not saying that I’m done with Spanx just saying I need some time.
I just hope and pray that Adele didn’t drink too much that night. I could not imagine peeling out of 4 Spanx.
Don’t do Spanx and Liquor at the same damn time (in my Future voice). Tis All
This was last nights post. Of course I fell asleep before publishing cause these kids wear me out. Enjoy!
I’m laying back dying laughing at my crazy family. Today is one of those rare weekdays that the kids get to see daddy before bed. And on these days he takes responsibility for bedtime. Bedtime in our house can take from 20 minutes to 2 hours depending on the evenings issues. Sometimes he forgets how much work it is for me to keep this operation in line. That’s why it’s so funny that tonight was a 2 hour Fric and Frac Medley. J is taking way too long to shower because he can’t get his face out of a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book (reading on the toilet with the shower running). Then he wants to make his bed at 9:00 so that he can make up points he lost this morning on ChoreMonster. Great iPhone App if I might add.
Oh yeah and every night our kids expect dessert. So it’s the we didn’t get dessert tonight complaint. So while he’s reprimanding J, Ry is playing in the sink after brushing her teeth, dancing and playing dress up in her room and going up and down the steps until she draws attention. Then she needs her ointment for mosquito bites, her music on, her allergy medicine, her fan on and maybe her last potty trip. But sometimes these things turn into any excuse to stay up a little longer. He has walked these steps 6 times cause that little girl, that little girl. Lmao!
He thought he finally got them
settled and we hear, “Mommy?” at the top of the steps. He says “tag you’re it” and disappears into our bedroom. I decided to assist.
I know his good night is not as thorough as mine, although he tries. But before we get to the top of the steps I can hear her bedtime music, which means its too loud. He let her read a book and didn’t make her put it back. Hence the book on her bed as she sleeps, uncomfortable. The night shirt she’s tugging at is too small. SMH, daddy attention to details is everything. Which way they sleep, what cover they have, what stuffed animal, position of the doors shadow the list goes on. But he knew when to tap out. Lol
The past few days as we watch the tragic breaking news of events in Aurora, we all end up asking the same question…Why?!!!
This young man’s issues didn’t start today. And the thing that saddens me the most is that this young man’s mother knew or understood what her son was capable of. Not saying that she created him to be this way but that she knew something was off. Because I know if my phone rings with some news like that, my response isn’t going to be “yep you got the right one”. It’s going to be a whole lot of cussing and threatening going on. I’ll be sounding like Little John, WHAT?! Not trying to be funny, but keeping it real.
Seriously it hurts my heart to know that this young man took his issues out on soo many innocent people. Somebody knew he needed help and left him to walk the streets without getting help. All I know is while they discuss the numerous accounts of Thursdays senseless act, I keep thinking….”is this serious?”. Regardless I keep going back to the fact that his mother had some indication that her son could do this. Which to me is an issue in our society. Why do mothers make excuses and stay in denial about their children’s issues? What is wrong with getting them help and really getting to the bottom of something going on? It’s not a bad reflection on you until tragedies like this arise. We as parents have the responsibility to protect our children from any threat, wether themselves or others. So I keep thinking how do we stop these things before they happen. If your child is having issues, being secluded, expressing negative or militant points of view, suffering from depression and you see their actions as being out of the ordinary. Get them help!!!! Talk to your child, pay attention to their actions, but by all means don’t ignore these signs. I feel all too often in these situations these issues are ignored due to fear of embarrassment. But others would think so much more of you to address the issues then letting them fester and turn into a mass killing. My heart goes out to all those affected in Aurora, Colorado as well as to the parents of the suspect who will carry this burden for the rest of their life. Now the tragedy of one household has spread to the household of many.
Rest in Peace to all those that lost their lives. May God heal all wounds physically and emotionally of those that survived. Our heartfelt sympathy and prayers are with you.
Love is a word that I think nowadays gets thrown around lightly. People say it but with no follow up action to prove it. This is where the breakdown in our relationships start. My man is always telling me that we as women over think what guys want. But I think this is the case on both ends. For example, I went away on my beach vacation the past weekend and upon my return he washed all the clothes, took our son to get his hair cut, helped him complete all his homework, spent quality time with our children, changed the sheets on our bed and even had a nice dinner waiting for me. Which to me is a GREAT welcome back gift. I couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear as he gave me a long welcome home embrace and whispered “your presence was missed” in my ear. All of these things are what keep most women happy. The little things, the things that matter. This means everything he accomplished over the weekend has prepared our family for a smooth start to our school and work week. Which also helps me to relax and focus on quality time with the family. Even though he had an attitude before I left, I can dismiss that with the fact the he proved his love and commitment to me and our family by doing these simple things while I was away that keep our regular routine smooth.Yes, these are things that to some should be automatic. But for most it’s rare. And mine did all this without a car since we have the one. I’m saying all this to say express gratitude for the little things. Appreciate the small steps as well as the big. Free Love is the best gift you can ever give. Free Love can mean a lot of things but I’m talking about anything to help your partner free up time for themselves. Time is money so it’s nothing for you to spend. Take her clothes to the cleaners when she forgets, take care of a bill without her knowing, wash the dishes, mop the floor, complete a diy home improvement project she’s been hinting about, iron the kids clothes for the week, give her a nice body massage etc. Free Love is the best Love!!!
Do something sweet and simple for your significant other. It makes you feel good and makes them feel good about you too.
So I think from now on I will have to post a proud moment of the day. These moments are also moments I want to keep as memories for the kids of how they made me feel growing up.
Yesterday at the pool, I had a great conversation with my son. I swear somedays I just want to tear up at the growing relationship that we have. Since we are almost eye to eye now I can really see him growing into a young man. I keep telling myself that I will not be one of these overbearing protective mothers but I look at him and realize how time flies. He is so well spoken and I love the fact that when it really comes down to it, he feels comfortable talking to me and his dad.
Monday was his first day of school because his school has mandatory summer school. So while the lifeguard was on her break, grandma was attending to Ryann and we were waiting to get back in the pool I started asking him about his first week of school. Questions about his new teacher, how’s he like is class, are any of his friends in his class etc. This triggered conversation on the girl front as well as people he considered his friends. He even gave me clarification on his feelings about girls and why he liked them. For me that moment was soo sweet. I explained to him the importance of friends, why people are your friends and relationships. He explained he wasn’t there yet. (He thought momma didn’t know that, lol)
But he was happy to know its okay to have friends and that would help him determine if he really liked someone. He even said sometimes he feels funny talking about his feelings because he thinks the family will tease him. I told him as he grows he will learn that people will always have their own opinion of him, but as long as he’s happy with himself that is what matters.
He explained he likes being able to have a chance to talk to me. That made me feel good. I know with our schedules and with my attention on both kids we have days where I miss out on just US time. As they are getting older, I realize that I need quality time with each of them to discuss things at their age level. Yes we have our family time which could be all of us, the boys outing, or the girls outing. But my big boy needs days of just him and his mommy and yesterday he had that inclusive of a great conversation.
Have you established comfortable relationships with your children and let them know their own importance?
We have hit summers midway point and it’s about time for a road trip. Girls weekend!!!
This weekend me and some of my girls are headed to Virginia Beach for a relaxing girls trip. No kids, no men, no drama, no judgement. I can’t wait for the conversations, the laughs, the debates and a nice glass of something spiked on the beach. More than anything I’m excited to hit the beach. I love water! I go to the pool at least 3 times a week with the kids and usually I’m on mommy duty. Ryann thinks she can swim just like the adults and can’t even doggy paddle. So my eyes have to stay on her at all times. Now I can swim and breathe knowing I don’t have to be watching someone else. I can’t wait to tan my whole body. Because I love getting a beautiful dark tan in the summer time. And even though it’s a weekend vacation I’m planning on doing loads of exciting things in this fun filled trip (ie. parasailing, jet skiing, clubbing, maybe even kayaking with dolphins).
It’s funny because as I prepare for vacation, honey still has the kids and some household responsibilities to take care of. Even though my mind is already on the beach, I decided to do some home prepping to help out before I leave. Grocery list is prepared along with coupons and sales paper, laundry will be done, picked up snacks and treats for the kids for when I’m gone and even created a homemade project they can enjoy with dad. I just pray he is preparing himself. I can already see his mood changing the closer it gets. Good Grief! I’ll be gone for two days and I have faith he can handle everything. So I’m getting my shades, my sandals, my portable iPhone charger, and hitting the road. Working on my iTunes playlist now. Have a Fabulous Weekend Dolls! Believe me some of the convo from this weekend may end up on here. Hahaha! I can’t wait. Toodles.
Any songs or suggestions for my beach soundtrack? Any recommendations of what to do?
Last night as I reorganized my closet, we laughed and joked about things I used to do. My honey says if we were rich I would be one of those women that get mad and make a man broke. Literally!!! My fix for any issue used to be shopping. When I say SHOPPING, I mean it. I could find a way to shop every day of the week. During lunch, after picking up the kids. I could be going to get groceries and come home with 4 pair of shoes, 2 bags, and 5 outfits and he just think I got groceries. But for a long time shopping was my fix. Sometimes I would come out of a store a say to myself, “this is not what came to do”. But do you think I walked back in the store and returned a damn thing. NO! And whoever created online shopping broke the bank.
But here is the kicker. I would get home and literally look like I was casing the place just to sneak in my sins. I would hide bags in other bags. Take shoes out of boxes and put them in my purse. Or wait until he went out or was in the shower and bring everything in and throw it in the back of my closet.
Terrible, right. But I knew I was wrong and didn’t want to be confronted because then I would have to admit I was wrong. But someway somehow I knew I had to stop.
At some points in our relationship my communication was not that great. And shopping was how I dealt with any thing i did not want to discuss. But even though I went and bought those shoes it still did not take care of the root of the issue. It was soo bad that I took on credit cards and loans to feed the habit, which made things worse.
The day that I got fed up with myself is when I broke down and poured out my heart. I was beating up on myself for decisions I made and did not think all the way through. And dwelling in it was hurting myself and my family. You know the saying if you tell little lies big ones are to follow. Well that made me feel guilty hiding and sneaking clothes because if I’m lying about that I can’t expect different from him. Sometimes you have to look at your actions and say enough is enough.
Happy I’ve kicked that habit! Not only for me but for my family. Sacrifice is a part of life,so is Growth. Now we discuss our budget and I any extra purchases affecting it. Wow, look at how we’ve grown.
Do you have habits that hurt your relationship? Are you willing to let them go?
Ughghh! I am sorry but this is a touchy subject for me. I work very hard and with the stress of my job always having to come home and run household cleanup kills me. Don’t get me wrong I love my house being clean but I didn’t have to clean up after people growing up. But now….. Lawd help me. I work days and he works nights so a lot of the household chores fall on me. Some of which is my fault because I can be a jerk if something is not done my way.
Our son has gotten old enough where he has daily chore responsibilities but that’s the tip of the iceberg.
Before we lived together I thought the only thing I had to worry about was the food budget. In my Charlie Murphy voice “wrong, wrong”. This dude can use 10 different glasses in one day. Why you can’t wash your glass out and refill it like everybody else? He will prepare a snack on one plate and eat it on another. Sooo this type of behavior has changed me from buying nice plates, glasses and silverware for everyday use to stocking up on styrofoam plates, cups and utensils. At first I thought it was tacky but having a conversation with some of my other girlfriends, I found I wasn’t the only one. Literally I ended up hating washing dishes because it was like, how did the sink pile up so fast. It was frustrating.
We have been discussing having a cleaning service come in once a month. Some of my girlfriends have done the same and because of their experiences, I know how and what to look for. One of my girlfriends felt bad because she didn’t know if she was tipping her maid properly, all at the same time I understood why she wasn’t . If you pay someone weekly, monthly, bi-monthly to clean your house and laundry is NOT included a pay cut needs to be discussed. As a mother of two I’ve learned that one thing that can keep you on your toes while running a tight ship is Laundry. For our whole family we average about 10 loads every two weeks. 2 bags each inclusive of bed and bath linens. Then when your children are small it’s a little more dealing with spills, accidents, and the occasional I colored on my pants to add colors moments. Then it takes 4-5 hours to fold, iron and put it all away. Adding dishes, sweeping, making beds, changing linens, mopping, dusting along with your 10 hour work day, coming home helping kids with homework, cooking dinner, actually spending time with your kids, baths and getting them ready for bed. Sheesh! You sure The Department Labor hasn’t created a wage rates and regulations for occupation: Mother yet. Luckily I have help because some days I wanna throw in the towel. So with that being said, if you are seeking additional help around the house make sure ALL your needs are met. Who wants to pay for service where you still come home picking up the slack. I am soo glad that my girls have these types of discussions because sometimes I think it’s just me.
How does your family split up chores? Do you or have you tried maid/cleaning service? What are some household chores you could live without doing?
Say what you mean!!!! It’s so funny because in the past I have had boyfriends tell me the same thing. So I know this is also a reflection of myself sometimes. But say WTF you mean. LITERALLY! I can’t stand when dudes beat around the bush like you stealing my joy. Most of the time,you would realize I would be much happier to say see you when I see you. If you gonna go hang with your friends or do something not involving me, GO. As much as I love spending quality time with my honey, I enjoy some alone time like nobody’s business. No compromise, no curphew, no judgement. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves “Keep it real”. Say I’ll see you later, I’ll be home after I chill with the fellas but don’t blame me for your miscommunication. The two biggest issues in most relationships are finance and miscommunication and as soon as I see failing signs, it’s discussed. I’m quick to say I got a date, going out with the girls, I’m doing me. So fellas do the same thing. When you assume what your partner will say or how they will react usually you are wrong. But you also aren’t slick trying to make sure you tie up all my time. Game recognize Game. Check Mate!