No Spanx You

The other night we were watching FOX news and they were discussing the Grammy awards. I bust out laughing because the topic was Adele and Spanx. For those of you who do not know what Spanx are, let me explain. Spanx is a popular brand of body slimming undergarments. It helps to hide and suck in almost everything you cannot without holding your breath. Lol Apparently Adele wore 4 pairs of Spanx that night. WTF! My honey looked over at me cracking up because I’ve had my run ins with Spanx. Knowing she had on 4 makes me shiver. I, like most women loved me some Spanx. But not too long ago me and Spanx had a bit of an altercation. Seriously…..the night our little altercation happened there was nothing funny about it and you may beg to differ. But now when this story comes up I can’t help but to laugh.

One night a few of my girlfriends decide to go see a high school friend’s band. Now it had been about 4 months since I had a night out with the girls. So naturally we were drinking as soon as we step in the club. I mean Patron shots from jump, which led to Patron Margaritas then to about 3 other cups of something I couldn’t name. Needless to say the whole night I was good, really good until I had to go to the bathroom. I totally forgot I had on Spanx they came down nice and smooth, but………they wouldn’t come back up. Now it really wasn’t that they Couldn’t come back up. I was soo drunk that it took so much out of me to try. I was getting hot and sweating laughing at my damn self in that tiny stall. But I know my girls were like Jaye is taking way too long. So I left the Spanx at the halfway mark across my ass and hurry pulling my pants up. I was so drunk that when i got home i passed out with my Spanx still on. Haven’t put one on since that night. Not saying that I’m done with Spanx just saying I need some time.

I just hope and pray that Adele didn’t drink too much that night. I could not imagine peeling out of 4 Spanx.

Don’t do Spanx and Liquor at the same damn time (in my Future voice). Tis All

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Categories: Weight Loss Journey | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “No Spanx You

  1. You’re crazy for this one! Twisted Spanx! Ha. Love it.

  2. Hahaha too funny! I can’t imagine wearing more than one pair and yes I’ve had an altercation with Spanx while intoxicated and in a small stall. Those club stalls should be bugger btw. Haha! I think I got mine all the way back up though….who knows lol

  3. LMAO!!! Ok…too funny and me visualizing it is even funnier. I try to keep my outfits simple if I plan to partake in the spirits. hahaha

  4. LOL! This is hilarious! I’ll take your advice! 🙂

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