Monthly Archives: August 2012

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Last week was a doozy! But we also made a Great Accomplishment

For 9 years my son has been the apple of my eye. We are close and I Love him to death. But he has started to test the waters of wanting an ass whipping. Not a talking to, not a spanking, not a pop, A CHIN CHECK. And its not because he’s a bad kid at all. He doesn’t cuss or say bad things. He just can be rude and smart mouth. Anytime I tell him to do something there is a why? A what? Or an Awwww Man. Then I say something else and he mumbles and pouts.

Wednesday was the first day of school for him. He couldn’t sleep because he was excited. He woke up, and did pretty good with his timing in the bathroom. He got dressed… And here comes the disconnect. He came downstairs with his backpack his lunch box and no shoes or socks on. I look at him with a side eye and he says, “OH!”

He drops his bags on the couch and heads back up the stairs. LOUD as HECK, mind you the rest of the house is still sleep. I’m packing his lunch and he comes back downstairs. I try to make him feel good during the day by putting sweet notes in his lunch box. We get to school on time and he sees his friends and is excited. Well I pick him up after school and see another parent walking to the bus stop. I ask if they want a ride home. We get to their house and of course they ask of the kids can come in and play for a minute. I agree but specifically tell J to leave his book bag in the car. Why? Because I know how quick we forget what’s important. Hence our nickname for him at home “Memory Lapse”.

We stay for an hour and head home. When we get home I notice J is taking a long time to get out of the car. I call his name and he gets out pouting, “I can’t find my book bag.” At this point I want to have a Homer and Bart moment. I immediately get on the phone and where is his bookbag, exactly where it shouldn’t have been. So he would have to wait til Thursday to get his book bag inclusive of his homework. Next I made him write a letter to his teacher taking responsibility for his actions and explaining that he would complete all homework the next day. Well the next day comes and I make sure we go straight home so that he can start on homework. Time is flying as I prepare dinner, work on Ryanns flash cards and attend to some business. So I call Jayden downstairs to ask where he is on his homework and he explains that he’s almost done. I ask him to let me review what he had completed so far and I circled areas that needed correction. He goes back upstairs and now it’s 9:00, which is bed time. So I just happen to go upstairs to see if he needed help with the last bit of homework and what do I see. This little boy run across his room and slide into his desk because he saw me coming up the stairs. He was playing with some toys on the other side of his room. As soon as I started to lecture, who comes up the steps….Daddy. Now this is day two of school but J has been giving off a whole lot of attitude lately and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Daddy asked me what happened, then kindly asked me to step out. All I heard was lay on the bed and I grabbed Ry and headed down the steps. Crying and screams followed. I had to let it happen. 9 years and never even a pop from daddy. But I knew it was coming. He tried to hold out for soo long but baby boy is feeling himself. Then because he lied before he got his spanking daddy told him to go to bed with no dinner. This made me cringe. As my honey makes his way downstairs, I’m trying to figure out how I can sneak my baby some food. So I asked if he felt like going to fill up my tank so I wouldn’t have to go to the gas station in the morning. He gladly obliged, but as he walked out the house I had to think about my actions. Now if the tables were turned, I would lay him out for going behind my back after disciplining the kids, so why do it to him. I decided not to sneak J any food because it’s not like my kids ever miss a meal. It hurt my heart but it was his lesson. I think I was more so excited about the fact that Daddy and I were on the “Same Page”. I have been the bad guy (disciplinarian) to my kids for the past 9 years. He tolerates everything and I tolerate very little. Now that they know daddy has my back and won’t pacify them, changes are a happening. J had a water bottle by his bed that not to curb his hunger and the next day had a brand new attitude.

Categories: Couples Session | 5 Comments

Moment of the Day

Our daughter has started creating her own little family with her dolls. Today she went to the extreme with feeding, clothing, doing her babies hair and even creating a car out of beach chairs and an old booster seat to take her baby to the store. Because she has really gotten in her feelings about her baby not having underwear and socks and extra clothes, guess who will be hopping on the sewing machine to help her out.

Ry- “Mommy, I have to take her upstairs to go night night because I have to go to work.

Me- “What? You are going to work? Where is your baby going to be?

Ry- “Yep and she goin to work with me. Cause I can take her with me.”

Me- “Excuse me”

She heads upstairs to get ready for bed. Daddy goes up and tucks her in, turns her night time music on and her night light. So I’m thinking everything is okay. About 30 minutes pass and I hear feet coming down the steps.

Me-” Ryann!”

Ryann- “Mommy I’m tired but my baby won’t go to sleep, ugh.” ( like she is frustrated)

She finally sees my face looking at her like she’s crazy, and starts snickering. The reason this is hilarious is because the doll she is referring to is a Sweet Dreams Dora. When you lay her down her eyes close and when you sit her up they open.

Good Night Little Girl!!!

Categories: Parenting/The Kids | 1 Comment

The Week the Women Went-ReCap

Tuesday night began the season premiere of Lifetime’s “The Week the Women Went”. If you were watching all the women over age 18 hopped on a train and chugged on out of town. Now the men seem very supportive until they are all alone. All I keep asking myself is what would these men do without their wives. Seriously children bouncing off the walls and their plates filled with ramen noodles, corn dogs and ranch dressing. When that camera scanned through the house, I know the mother of that household is going to lose her mind. Although they are still working to gain control of their situation, two of the fathers were smart and decided to camp out in one home facing this challenge together.

For me the two stories I will be following closely are the 24 year old Marine who decided to take care of his 31 year old girlfriend of 7 months 3 kids. I think this experiment will either make or break this relationship. He isn’t that far from a teenager himself and the two oldest are teenage girls. I don’t know how comfortable I would be with this situation but we will see how it works out. Also the families that have left their 13 year old daughters in charge of the family businesses. This experience should be full of life lessons and give them an idea of the work their mothers put in to their family’s livelihood. To sum it up the first 2 hours of the women being gone was like the scene in Daddy Day Care after they gave the kids all that sugar.

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There is more to come like the men planning a pageant inclusive of making the girls dresses and doing make up. And the most intriguing is at the end of the last episode the night vision cameras captured one of the children getting up in the middle of the night, grabs a knife out the kitchen and walks back towards the bedrooms. Oh Lawd!! Tune in tomorrow night to Lifetime’s “The Week the Women Went” 10/9 Central. Tell me what you think!

Categories: In the News | 1 Comment

Down Not Out

I know I’ve been on hiatus for a few days but I’m back in full swing. This past weekend was a rough one or shall I say started out rough. Friday after 10 years of continuous service to the government I was laid off. This actual situation has been a process over the last 6 months. Something that at some points had me doubting my own worth. But one thing I had to realize is that with or without I have always been able to provide for my family. Because I have a hustlers spirit. And even when you are prepared for something it never hits you until it happens.

Friday, I CRIED! I cried and thought my crying was over got in the car to treat my baby to McDonalds and somebody hits my car. Luckily we were okay but all I kept thinking was not today. This kid had no license and backed into the side of my car. Now what y’all don’t know is my car is my first car. My baby, my pride and joy. Only three years old with 1 accident on her record and no damage. Now, a big dent near my rear wheel well on the drivers side because of this fool. Little did he know that this was the wrong day to deal with me.

But in that moment something happened. I Breathed! Now those that don’t know me, I have a temper and sometimes when things are out of sorts you will hear my mouth. But I knew God was working in my favor. Me and my little girl were okay. This sucka just slammed into me with a big Suburban and pretty much bounced off my car. It’s still drivable and insurance will take care of the rest. Life goes on.
Heading home a text scrolls across my phone from my sister: ” I know this is the last thing on your mind…..”. Her sending me the eventbrite link for BlogaDC.

Waking up Saturday morning I was still leary of being around anybody. Honey and J were out of town attending Redskins Training camp. But he comforted me with a sweet phone call to say, “You do so much to hold us down, I guess it’s time for me to take over. We will get through.” To hear him say those words, felt like a weight had been lifted. Because its nothing like knowing your man got your back and that reassurance that comes with it.

Needless to say I got my sexiness together and attended the most amazing and uplifting event I could have imagined. Enjoying the company of and gaining some powerful knowledge from Justice Fergie, Dr. Nicole Cutts, Amber Williams, Anacostia Yogi, Yvonne Bynoe, Maisie Dunbar, and so many others. Thank you ladies for getting me back on track. Thank you to my sister Nae for helping me stay positive. Below are a few photos from BlogaDC. Also check out a sermon that hit things right on the nose from Rev. Anika Wilson Brown. “I’m Greater Than What I’m Going Through”

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Categories: Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Moment of the day

Yesterday as I was sitting at my desk I received a long text message from my mom. For those of you that don’t know, my mom is apart of our immediate household. I know most of you probably started thinking in-house daycare, not really. She is there if we need her but she does have her own life and space in the home we share. More about this will come in a later post. Regardless, since J is finishing up summer vacation my mother agreed to keep him with her at home the last 2 weeks. As he is getting older I can see his sweet and cute mannerisms changing. He got a little smart mouth with a little attitude but daddy and I have been nipping it in the bud. Usually grandma is his savior but she fixed him.

This is the message I received from my mom:

Jay got up and said I’m hungry. I want eggs over easy. Then he sat on the sofa kicked up his heels to watch cartoons. I said NO, if I cook I eat. Time for u to learn if you are hungry u can cook for yourself. So todays lesson-My brother & I were cooking breakfast at 8 for our parents, pancakes from scratch etc.

What happened next:

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YOU GON LEARN TODAY!!! Lol

Categories: Parenting/The Kids | 4 Comments

Tune In-Lifetime’s New Reality Show

I dont know about you all, but I am super excited about Lifetime’s “The Week the Women Went” a BBC Worlwide Production.  If you have not seen the preview or heard about this new reality show/social experiment, you are missing out.  Basically all of the women skip town for a week leaving their husbands to tend to the kids, the house, businesses, any events and the town.  When I saw this preview, it gave me life.  I couldn’t stop laughing because you can tell some of these men are going to leave town their damn selves. This show looks like it will shake up the town.  I can’t wait and I hope this is not the only season. Evidently this show/experiment  has been tried in other countries but finally arrived on American soil according to several news releases.  I feel much won’t happen in a week but maybe a month. I would want to see these men get through a whole month and pay all the bills. Empty the refrigerator and make them do all the grocery shopping. Even them getting the whole household ready for back to school. Mother’s do it all and still stay within budget knowing everyone’s likes and dislikes.  Now I’m not saying all men are not capable but mommy’s and daddy’s manage things a little different. Either way tune-in! Get your popcorn ready and watch with your man, I know I will.

Just like in the Preview: “Women you can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them” Check the preview and tune in for the premiere next Tuesday, August 14th at 10/9 Central.

http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/the-week-the-women-went

Categories: In the News | 2 Comments

Balancing Act-No Neglect

Everyday I feel like I’m playing tug of war. I wake up and the voices in my head remind me of the “Hey Mon”skits from The Wayans Brothers “In Living Color”.
“How many job you got? I got 12 job mon.”(in my Damon Wayans voice)

I get the kids together in the morning and take them to their prospective locations. This process starts between 5:00am/5:30am. I work a full day to leave work in enough time to pick one up by 5:00pm and the other by 6:00pm. My honey works evenings and usually does not get home until the kids are off to bed or later. Somedays it used to bother me but I had to realize support goes both ways.

I am thankful that he works to help support our family. Even though our QT is cut short, I know that I can depend on him. Although I can’t have my QT when I want I never go here….. “You only have time for yourself and the kids”. This is what I got hit with last week out of nowhere. Now I know this didn’t come from nowhere but don’t us mothers get cut any slack.

I am working, helping with homework, breaking out arts and crafts and DIY projects, going bowling, hitting the pool, working out, doing school shopping, braiding hair, blogging, writing my articles, handling all annual appointments and cooking almost Sunday dinner for this family everyday. But where I messed up last week was everyday he would come home and I’m up, then 5 minutes later….. OUT. Not just dozing off….out like coma toast. Sometimes in my sexy night gown all oiled and smelling good with candles lit, which makes it worse.

Most of the week went by without me up to listen to how his day was or to joke a little bit. Him trying to tickle me where I laugh and choke half to death. And even though I knew he was upset it made me feel good to know he cared. All Saturday as we did things around the house, he’s singing old love songs. I hear Faith Evans”Love don’t live hear anymore”, Dru Hill “Tell Me”, Lauren Hill / Deangelo “Nothing Matters”. I was dying laughing on the inside because he would get louder as he got closer to me. So yesterday I put aside 3 hours just for me and my boo.

I know our household can get hectic and I try to make sure everyone gets my attention. So from this I have decided to put myself to bed when I put the kids to bed. When daddy gets home I should have gotten a nice nap in to spend some extra quality time with him. And every two weeks, we will be having a date night. We had our date nights scheduled for once a month but we talk more about it than actually doing it. I have even enlisted Fric and Frac to assist. Every month Fric and Frac will host date night #1 inclusive of a menu and entertainment. After that Superwoman will coordinate date #2. Whatever it takes for the Sappy Jukebox singing in my house to subside.

How do you balance your many roles? Ever fall asleep during romance?

Categories: Couples Session | 1 Comment

From the Big Chop to the Big Decision

I am one indecisive individual when it comes to my hair. One day I want it straightened, next braided, out in my bush or just in a sexy style.  I have always been a flip flopper when it comes to my hair.  Over a year ago I did the big chop and have been rockin my natural treses in a curly fro.  I, like everyone else have become a product junkie and a youtube whore just to figure out what really works well for my hair texture.  From youtube videos to blog tutorials, I have learned things about my hair that I never even took into consideration. For almost 6 years I have played with the notion of locking my hair.  I’ll get it twisted and two weeks later take it out.  I have started this process twice and never followed through.  My honey has been begging me to stick with it, because in his eyes it will look gorgeous on me. 

This weekend as I rocked my two strand twist and played with different designs and styles, the idea arose again.  Ecspecially now since I have started a full work out regimen to combat this weight gain.  I think this is the perfect time to make a decision like this.  I am starting to lock my hair. Ahhhhh!!!  I feel that I have developed the patience needed to actually follow through this time.  But until I feel comfortable with letting them free, I have my scarves and headwraps ready.

What are your natural hair decisions and why? If you have locks, how did you wear your hair when you started?

Categories: Team Natural | 1 Comment

31 days, 31 photos, 31 Stories Challenge Update

For those that do not have Instagram. I just wanted to update you on my first two days of this Challenge.  In these two days of posting pictures, So many stories have run through my mind. I think the end of these 31 days will be amazing. Thank you Christa Myers!!!http://www.inspiredbybeatriceclay.com/blog/

DAY 1: SELF PORTRAIT

This cut gave me Life! Blonde and Black rocked it.

I was so upset when I actually got this haircut because  I went in to get a blow out.  I wanted to surprise my Honey for Christmas with a straight sexy do.  When I arrived at the hair dresser, my feelings were immediately trampled.  From me dying my hair earlier that summer, the breakage would have looked horrible with a blow out and my hair would have still been damaged.  I was advised to cut it to revitalize my hair.  None the less after my cut and treatment, I ended up walking out of that shop feeling sexy and my honey agreed.

DAY2: SOMETHING TREASURED

A few bad days are better than none at all

Everday I wake up saying “Thank you Lord for another day”. Everynight I go to sleep saying “Thank you Lord for another day”. Wether good or bad every day is a day not promised. Bask in it and be thankful. Life is precious and like I tell my kids every new day is a day to change or improve what was done yesterday. Live your best life by Loving your life because your life is not meant to be anyone elses.

DAY3: CHILDHOOD

 

 

My mother’s little rainbow coalistion and she taught us all to love ourselves as individuals.

DAY4: FAVORITE COLOR

Purple calms my soul

 

DAY5: HARDWORK

Being a woman in a field of men constantly trying to prove yourself- Construction

 

So here are my first 5 days.  Are you sharing your story?

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

31 Days Challenge

I am a part of a Bloggers Group on Facebook called BLM – Bloggers Like Me . This group is filled with some of the most talented and positive women I have ever encountered.  In the three weeks that I have been with the group, i have gained so much more insight on the craft of blogging.  That being said, I have decided to join in on a challenge from blogger Christa Myers @ http://www.inspiredbybeatriceclay.com/blog/. Follow me on Instagram at jayry2 to keep up.Image 

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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