Locs: This Natural Hair Thang

Let me tell ya’ll…….. Having Locs is not easy.  Whoever keeps spreading this lie is Cray Cray!!  I Love my Locs, but I have also explained previously that I am not a Hair Person.  But over the past 3 years, I have done more hair than I probably have at any time in my life.  Loc Maintenance is No Joke!  So let me tell you about the most important things that I have learned having locs:

• Hydration is Key
• Cannot Use any products that cause Buildup
• Keeping your scalp oiled keeps your locs looking healthy
• Still need to clip your ends regularly
• If you love color, use a color treatment Shampoo and conditioner
• Protective styling is great for growth
• Styling is UNLIMITED
• YouTube Tutorials are your Friend

My Lady Locs

Some of these things are also key to regular natural hair care. I use to have a closet full of products but after my 1 year old was diagnosed with asthma, I had to get rid of any products with strong fragrances or lasting aromas. Which made me narrow my product list down quite a bit. But to make sure I’m maintaining healthy Locs, here are some of my favorite mildly scented hair care products:

• Doo Gro Mega Thick Growth Oil (retail value $8.99 4.5oz.)
• Doo Gro Mega Thick Anti-Thinning Growth Lotion (retail value $8.99 12oz.)
• Clairol Root Cleansing Strawberry and Ginger Shampoo (retail Value $9.99 10oz.)
• 12 Benefits Instant Healthy Hair Treatments (retail value $17.99 6oz.)

What products would you refer for healthy loc maintenance that I could use around my asthmatic baby boy?

Directv, AT&T, and the NFL

I have been a Directv customer for 4 years and an  AT&T customer for 10 years.  In July Directv and AT&T merged offering more options for your entertainment and cellular needs.  This is the first ever nationwide combined tv and wireless service from one company. Which includes great discounts for customers of both companies.  The merger also opens the door for TV service literally at your fingertips. Directv customers will be able to access tv service on their mobile devices at anytime. Even after you sign up as a new customer and just say Directv can not get out to install service for a week or two, your service will be active via the app on your phone during that time. Didn’t I say, “Entertainment at your fingertips”.

This year we added the NFL Sunday Ticket package with Directv.  We are die hard Redskin fans #HTTR and regular Football watchers. So in my house this was a life saver since my honey works 6 days a week.  We never missed a game and could always catch up on the various games that have conflicting schedules.  No matter the day or time with the NFL Sunday ticket. It was so easy to catch up on missed plays, scores, highlights, player stats and extras without even being in front of the tv.

Directv NFL Sunday Ticket App.

This Sunday, I will be meeting with Executives from AT&T during the Washington Redskins vs Tampa Bay Football game at FedEx Field to discuss the many ways customers will benefit from this merger. Join me at 11:30am Eastern Standard time this Sunday, October 25, 2015 with your questions via Twitter @JayeCarter  and @DCMobility with the hashtag #NFLATTDirectv. Let’s find out what these companies have in store for their customers. Believe me AT&T and Directv have packages to fit the needs of many.

Photo Courtesy of Google

Did you know that if you’re a customer of AT&T *and* DirecTV, you can get $10 off your bill each month, just for being a customer of both? That is a annual savings of $120. Find out what you’ve been missing.

** I received tickets to Sunday’s game in exchange for this post. However all opinions are my own.

Growing Pains

This year along with the new addition.  My family also decided to make some physical changes together.  Over the past 2 years my oldest had been dealing with overcrowding in his mouth.  Literally his mouth x-ray looked like a shark head x-ray with rows and rows of teeth.  He had teeth growing behind teeth, teeth growing over top of teeth and he started experiencing mild pain.  After speaking with the Orthodontist they decided it was time to start fitting him for braces.  Unlike most kids he was ready and excited!  He had been asking for an entire year when they could start the process of correcting his teeth and it had finally come.  But he was a little nervous and wondered if pain would be involved.  Well I myself had dealt with dental changes after my 2nd pregnancy which were consistent throughout my last. My teeth had shifted, leaving small gaps here and there.  After I got my post pregnancy cleaning they were obvious. Because we go to the same dentist my son was present at my appointment.  We learned that as I aged that those spaces would stay there and most likely get larger.  So the dentist/orthodontist gave me an option which made my son smile from ear to ear.  That day we made the decision together.  I would go first to ease his mind.  After he saw how easy it was, he hopped in that chair and never looked back.  It was great to watch him let go of his fear because I never want him to be scared of any health physician.

I was scared myself for about 6 years when I didn’t have a regular dentist. We had a family dentist all my life and once he retired and I had to find someone new to work on my mouth, I was uncomfortable.  But once my kids became big enough to go, I had to trust someone so that they felt comfortable going regularly.  Our dental office is filled with friendly and loving staff.  They tell my kids stories, watch videos and play games with the baby when I am in the chair, and they are very informative regarding our dental health. Now we all Love our dental family. We are making healthy changes together. So when he looks at the list of things he can not eat, he knows mommy can not as well. No cheating and no cutting corners, because we are in this together. Insurance is only as good as a Great Healthcare Provider!  Thank you Dr.Reza Ulery Dental!!!

The Day after I got Mine! PAIN

8 Months Later! He’s 12 and Yes I’m 35 with braces. It’s never too late.

The Time Is Now: Technology Anyone?

Ya’ll it has been taxing trying to make sure I make time for myself for my readers.  Every time I write it is from the heart, but lately I have felt overwhelmed.  Why? because technology is not a game in this here blogging world.  From the various social media platforms to understanding themes, logos, widgets, plug-ins, etc.  Just saying all of this makes me dizzy.  But I have made it a point to thoroughly try to understand it all.  I have a 12 year old that has started to learn coding and seeing him work makes me feel old and out of the loop.  Recently, I signed up for a site called DASH.  Dash helps you learn the basics of coding inclusive of html, CSS, and Javascript.  You actually walk through a few projects to get your feet wet from building a personal website, building a responsive blog theme, building a small business website, creating a madlibs game (something like words with friends).  And its free!! They offer extensive paid courses, but the free offer right now is detailed enough.  So I am sharing DASH with all of you that feel like me.  Don’t let social media and technology hold you back. Find a way to help yourself!

Do you have any tech sites that have helped you out?  What helped you create your blog site or business site?

#3

The last time you heard from me, I was headed to the BlogaliciousFive Conference. It was FABULOUS and gave me such a clearer view of what I needed to do to be great as a blogger and a business owner. Also met so many great people that even during my hiatus would send a note of encouragement and motivation. Because of that, I’M BACK!!!!!!!!! I know it’s been a while (1.5 years to be exact). But I have soo much to share. I’ve missed my readers, my passion for writing, but most of all my VOICE. I was ready to put my plan in motion but arrived back home to few set backs. 

Evidently while I was gone my daughter got away with eating whatever she wanted with daddy and ended up experiencing severe food allergies. Back to back episodes of itching with a full body hives, including welts on her face. After 3 weeks we learned she had allergies to Strawberries (her favorite fruit), raspberries, tomatoes, shellfish and the acidity in pineapples and oranges works as a trigger. Once we got her back on track, she caught a virus at school, which made its way through our entire household. For some reason a week after the virus cleared the house, I was still having vomiting spells. Called the doctor and she suggested I give it a few more days. As she explained “mommy ends up taking a little longer to recover because we don’t get proper rest to get better while taking care of everyone else.” Another week goes by, so I go in to get blood drawn. Because at this point I’m vomiting just cause. At work, at home, morning, and evening. I had recently lost 35 lbs, was working out and trying to put that fire back into our relationship. (You know that fire most couples have before kids, bills, etc.).  I guess God had other plans…………..”Ms.Carter we are so happy to let you know you’re pregnant. That’s good news, Right?” RIGHT.

Yes my first thoughts were my lymphedema, gaining that weight back, if I could comfortably carry again without any arterial blockages, would it be another ectopic pregnancy.  But  I couldn’t let fear control my heart. I knew God was giving my baby another chance.

7 months prior when I was rushed to the hospital from passing out in my bathroom and experiencing sharp paralyzing pains in my abdomen, this man almost lost his mind. My man panicked, all I kept hearing is ” Jaye get up, get up!” Luckily my mom was in the house and called the ambulance. They had to lift me off the toilet and all he was worried about was my pants being down. Lol Anywho that morning at the hospital he never left my side. He asked questions, he held my hand, he kissed me, he even got frustrated because to him they were taking to long to tell us what was wrong. Once they told us that it was an ectopic pregnancy, I cried. He said “how are you crying and the fetus hadn’t even formed yet.” I understood him, but what my body went through with my daughter, I just knew I could never have another healthy pregnancy. He asked what would we have even named the baby. My immediate response was “Carter”. I continued “After me there isn’t anyone to carry on my family name. With 3 girls once we get married our last name goes. It’s apart of us. We’ve been “The Carter girls” all of our life.” I was shocked but he actually thought it was cool. He kissed me as I was injected with the first round of khemo and it was never discussed again.

Evidently “Carter ” was meant to be here. He wasn’t necessarily in the plans, but I guess he was a part of the master plan. And I wouldn’t change that for anything.

Meet 7 month old Carter Vann Jackson ( He doesn’t only carry my family name. His name is made up of all the family last names), our #3.

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Starting Fresh #DearBlogalicious

This past year has been full of great learning experiences for me. Yes, my blog has been active for more than a year. But you didn’t see me celebrating any Blogaversary or poppin champagne, and I could have. But for me this is real. I somewhat was very disappointed in myself for not being able to accomplish some of the goals I set for myself. And we all have our moments but as I’ve realized, I’m a control freak. And I’m working on that. The past six months during my hiatus I’ve been apart of three great wedding parties, earned a new position at work, helped my baby girl get through her first year of Elementary school, helped my big boy transition to middle school, had a few friends transition to the next life, started creating new directions in my own life and really finding me.

It took me a long time to except my wonderfully kinky hair, my thick thighs, my double Ds, and this bout to be non existent kangaroo pouch. But it’s me, love me or leave me alone. I thought because my life revolves around my children that my life was over. NOT!
It’s something Amazing about hearing “‘Mommy you look Beautiful,” or “Mommy I Love your dress”. Me taking the time to put my makeup on and get back into my smell goods and fall in love with fashion again like a fairy tale romance. I’ve taken everything I’ve learned over the years and started focusing on my passion.

As most of you know this time last year, I was dealing with the loss of my job. I attended a women’s empowerment conference that weekend that brought me out of that rut. During that conference I was offered a scholarship to the Blogalicious Conference in Las Vegas. Needless to say due to other family issues I had to decline. It hurt my heart because I knew this was something I needed
, but I accepted that it wasn’t my time. This year when the conference was announced, I read that they were also looking for volunteers to work the conference. Now regardless, I knew this year I was going no matter what. But in my heart I immediately felt obligated to not only attend but give back what was extended to me. Nobody owed me anything, but God brought Stacey, Xina, Jazzy, and a few others into my life that weekend for a reason. I thought bigger, better, broader and because of them, I’m grateful.

In mid April in prepping for my sister’s big day, my mom and I were in the middle of Costco. My phone went off with an email alert. I looked down and literally started shouting in the store. My mom asked what happened and I started screaming “I was accepted in Blogalicious Social Squad!” I slowed my shouting and start looking around the store. She said ” shout if you have to shout cause you deserve it.” YES, I DO!!!!!!!!!

I’m not just building a brand or an empire. I’m rebuilding ME. ME is a mommy, a girlfriend, a sister, a lover, a teacher, a student, a proud thrifter, and a businesswoman. I can accomplish my goals. And there is more of me coming soon and in more ways than one.
This year my son and I are being challenged with the same task……ORGANIZATION. Thanks to BLMGirls, my Blogalicious family and other fellow bloggers in following them and reading more everyday, I’m learning more and more the best ways to organize me. Juggling motherhood, a 9-5, a blog and trying to build a business.

This year:
– I will celebrate a Blogaversary
– I will launch my business
– I will Make them proud

After my kids I turned into an introvert. I lost friends due to them not understanding the responsibility of motherhood. I felt betrayed, I was scared to trust people or get close to people. I became shy and quiet, which was never me. But it was not until I connected with soo many women that had similar stories that I realized it wasn’t just me. We are never alone in this world and for anyone that thinks you are the only one. Think again! This year, you will get to know ME. Jameelah and Jaye, the Gemini twins.

Thank you God for my growth. This year. And the fact that I’m sitting in the lobby of the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia to experience and participate in Blogalicious5! This weekend is the start of my New Year.

I will be posting all week.
Follow me on Twitter: JayeCarter
Follow me on Instagram: JayRy2

Let’s take this journey together.

What really happens in that room?

‘Everyone Out’: Cardinals are locked into Sistine Chapel until one emerges as Pope

Titles like this intrigue me. What exactly does this mean? If you are not a witness or locked into the room during this process, what do you think happens while a new Pope is chosen? This is when my mind goes on its own journey of how the Pope is chosen. Just reading the headline, I’m thinking there is an intense sword fight going on between the 20 candidates that only the other cardinals get to watch. Is it a race to see who can pray the fastest? Lol (Forgive me in no way am I trying to offend anyone, its just been the discussion of the day at work). Okay, Do they paper, rock, scissors for hours or keep voting until its unanimous? (Hee Hee Hee) When the Pope is chosen white smoke rises from the Sistine Chapel. I’m imagining its really great special effects from tear gas and hand grenades used during these fights to claim the throne. There is no cameras and all we can go by is what we have been told in history and overtime. But just like a child my imagination goes crazy of what is actually taking place in that room. Is there snickering, whispering, and hatin going on? Or is anyone in there rolling their eyes at who the 20 top candidates are? You can ask soo many questions. I really do know the process of choosing a new Pontif, but want to know what you imagine happens behind those closed doors.

Erykah, Erykah, Erykah

Last Friday I attended Erykah Badu’s “Mama’s Gun” concert at the Filmore. Tickets were sold out. I arrived in downtown Silver Spring at 6:00pm. The show started at 8:00pm. Upon arrival the lines were already formed. Then to ensure you were able to get in an area where u could see the performance you were encouraged to purchase a fast lane pass. Well we did that and still find out that after entering that to get a seat on the balcony they were charging an extra $40 per person. Regardless, I have to say whatever was spent up in there Friday night was WELL worth it. I have seen Ms. Badu in concert before performing Mama’s Gun (one of my favorite albums) and then was very impressed with her natural ability to own the stage. This time her spirit was shining bright, her aura danced around the room touching people like tentacles, and her voice was illuminating like no other. She free styled, free formed, played her beat pad and rocked the house. Even though 3/4 of the building were singing her songs with her, her voice resonated over it all. She made me feel like the first day I ever sat back and listened to every word, felt every mood, and the many times I said “YES” because I felt all that she created. “Mama’s Gun” is one album that I can put on shuffle because I Love every single song on that album. But from “Baduism” to “New Amerykah 2”, to whatever her next project will be I will always support Erykah Badu. I couldn’t get alot of great photos or video but what I did get was her showing DC Love as she performed “Danger” from her Worlwide Underground LP.

Today: May 5th

This time last year I was laughing and joking with my male best friend about what he was going to do for his birthday. He invited me over for game night with his close family and friends. He was joking and carrying on while he was getting on me about not focusing on my writing. He used to say, “Don’t nobody want to hear your damn excuses, J you are full of shit.”

We always discussed our goals and dreams and for 6 years he always talked about acting and believe me, he could have done it. And because I bought it up everyday, he was determined to shut me up. He even enrolled himself in acting classes in Baltimore with Rain Pryor because I told him those same exact words. I was sooo proud of him. This is why I started writing again. He kept his promise and it was time for me to keep mine. Little did I know as I embarked on my end of the agreement, his journey would be coming to an end.

We met at work 10 years ago and immediately kicked it off. We discussed relationships, fashion, music, always cracking jokes, shared lunches, went for drinks, and most important kept each other sane during the course of the work day. We both worked for DC Government but at separate agencies. But it seemed like no matter what position or agency we transitioned to, we always ended up close to each other. Most days when you saw one of us you saw the other. He would come up to my desk 10 minutes after I got to work to see if I had breakfast and to check on me before the day started. If he emailed me and I did not respond fast enough. He would cuss me out so bad and slam the door of his office when I finally got a second to stop by. But he always let me in and we would be running our mouths so long, I’d get calls saying people were looking for me. Oops!

He was that friend that told you when you were wrong, that helped when things were tight, remembered the kids birthdays, helped me learn how to be understanding and flexible in my relationship, laughed with me, cried with me, was loyal to me, and honest with me. Even during his last week on this earth as I was dealing with transitions at work, he called me everyday just to make sure I was okay. I told him, “You the one in the damn hospital, why you checking on me. I’m ok I just want you to get better.”

That final conversation still hurts me today. He called me at work. I asked how he felt. He told me he wasn’t feeling well and he was tired of being poked and stuck with needles. As he explained, tired of this rude African nurse that kept that he was ready to slap. I told him, I knew he was raising hell up in that hospital just because I know how picky he was. I asked him if he wanted me to come up there and said it was too much going on and half his family was up there but he just wanted to hear my voice and laugh. He told me to that everything would be okay and he loved me. I told him I loved him too and would call him the weekend. I never thought that would be the last time I heard his voice.

For some reason in my lifetime I have lost friends that have been very close to me. When I was 11 I lost my childhood male best friend who had a rare heart disease that was never detected, at 14 my god-brother was shot down and killed in our SE neighborhood, at 18 my male best friend/play brother in a severe car accident. Now at 32 I have lost again. But I gained so much while he was here and I’m grateful. Because of you I write and will continue to follow my dreams. Thank you for helping me find my voice!

May all of my friends/brothers rest in peace. You all will always hold a special place in my heart. I MISS YOU but WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!

Happy Birthday Dante…….Gone but never Forgotten!!!

Macy’s Celebrates Black History Month

Last Thursday I had the honor of attending Macy’s DC 2013 Black History Month Celebration, honoring the life work and celebrating 100 years of photographer/film maker Gordon Parks with the American Black Film Festival.

This was one of those events I’m glad I did not miss. The setup was lovely with the beautifully soulful sounds of The Chelsey Green Project as guests arrived. This album is being added to my collection ASAP! She and her band are the bomb and she can do some amazing things with that violin. We were served ho’r derves and wine throughout the evening. The wine was courtesy of Esterlina Vineyards of California. This is the only black owned vineyard in the valleys of California, check them out.
When my sister IChooseTheSun and I arrived at Macy’s, Mr. Parks work was displayed throughout the main level of the store.

But his story of dedication, hardwork, and resilience rang out through the crowd. And oh there was a crowd!
Once the panel discussion began there was standing room only. The panel was introduced and moderated by the lovely Jummy Olabanji of ABC7. The evening’s panel consisted of actor Malik Yoba, award winning cinematographer/film maker Hans Charles, and award winning writer/film director Cole Wiley.

These gentlemen expressed what Gordon Parks meant to them as individuals and their careers. They discussed a man with a vision who took charge of his destiny. A black man who came from nothing, yet made the world see through his eyes. Gordon Parks became the first African American staff photographer for LIFE Magazine in 1948 and the first major african american film director in Hollywood for “The Learning Tree” in 1969. But for those of you that didn’t know Mr. Parks by those accomplishments, we all know him for being the creative force behind the 1971 film “Shaft”.
Per the panel discussion African Americans have come a long way in the film industry. On screen and even making their way to the executive offices behind the scenes. But there is still more work to be done. We all play a role in how much further we go as a people. We can stay complacent in where we are or we can strive for greatness. We have greatness in black film! Although it has not become a priority within the film industry, we as a people have to be willing to support it. The question was raised, “What does black film mean to you?” Wether defined yet or not, are you willing to support it? I know I am! Let’s keep the legacy going and support our black films, writers, and directors. Thank you Gordon Parks for paving the way and Macy’s for this extraordinary event!!

Checkout my sister’s IChooseTheSun post inclusive of a storify recap of our live coverage.

I am a member of the Everywhere Society and Everywhere provided me with compensation for this post about Macy’s Black History Month. However, all thoughts and opinions expressed herein are my own.